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LtCmdr. Shayne: Divulging (DS26)

2018-09-13 07:11:11

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((Holosuite, DS26)) Shayne: Indeed. He is incredible. Whatever you did, sir, I thank you for it= . ::Smiling slightly.:: ::Awkwardness, ineffectuality, a fear of creating problems that bordered on= impotence- this was the reality that Shayne had come to see in himself. Hi= s need to find fault in his own actions would have made Hornblower look lik= e a guidance counselor in comparison. Of all these faults, and many more, h= owever, there was one skill Shayne could not deny possessing.:: ::He was very, very good in emergencies.:: ::Leaving behind the insipid, quiet, and contrite individual in the face of= danger or strife, Shayne could immediately- and painfully temporarily- bec= ome another man. Focused, attentive, steely eyed and able to spring into an= y role a situation required. And now, despite the fact that they were in pe= rhaps the most pleasantly non violent environment conceivable, despite the = fact that he and MacKenna both were surrounded by peers, comrades and compa= triots who had already made their well-wishes known, Shayne felt his senses= perk up. No, that wasn't true- his senses had been quite perky; Ma= cKenna had assured that, and though he was still digesting his feelings and= attempting to think past the initial thrill of contact (literally and figu= ratively), a higher calling urged him. MacKenna was in pain- anyone with a = similar constitution could see that. And if there was something he could do= about it, he would. The ship might not be falling apart, but there was a w= ay he could help. And this he'd never turn down.:: ::So he had taken the unusual act of engaging others on his own terms- defi= nitely a new sensation, especially with a fellow of conversation that bore = as high a rank as Taybrim. Yet, he was pleased he had been able to. It allo= wed him to move past the ambiguous, if only for an instant, and focus on th= e concrete- a form of understanding in high demand for those as blatantly n= eurotic as he.:: Taybrim /Jolara: ? ::He listened, interested, but his faux boldness, momentary like the high o= f a drug, began to fade in his breast. The confidence deflated, the glow ab= ated. He felt like he was falling, back into the monotony of himself. A gla= nce at MacKenna gave him just enough of a bolstering to do what had to be d= one.:: Shayne: I'm sorry to break this up, but I must leave to attend to s= omething. Commander MacKenna, I don't want to impose, but if you ha= ve a moment, I could use your assistance. ::The words had not been considered and yet somehow, on autopilot, he=E2=80= =99d made his excuses, apologies and requests with a minimal of bumbling. H= e'd even managed to sound appropriately officious- this mustn't app= ear to be anything but an unfortunately timed request for purely operationa= l assistance.:: ::Why though? He wondered for the briefest of moments. Would not Taybrim an= d Jolara sympathize and understand? But again, this wasn't about th= em. It was about MacKenna. Any such understanding, even meant in the best i= nterests of kindness and respect, would mortify the poor woman, if her prev= ious behavior was any indication.:: ::To his delight, the answer was not long in coming.:: MacKenna: ::Smiling slightly.:: I'd love to. ::Shuffling slightly, she began moving toward the door. Shayne casually fol= lowed- and in this case, =E2=80=9Ccasually=E2=80=9D meant =E2=80=9Cwith a s= tiffness rarely seen before or since=E2=80=9D.:: Jolara/Taybrim: ? MacKenna: Have a good night. ::With that, both individuals exited the room, each doing their utmost to a= ppear as natural as possible. Shayne had the impression that, despite his b= est efforts, or indeed because of them, he bore the appearance of a penguin= with its ass on fire. MacKenna, following behind, likely bore superior gra= ce, if only due to the fact that she was not Shayne. In any case, MacKenna = and the fraught second officer managed to escape the oppressive friendlines= s of their comrades and companions. For the first time, they could be alone= .:: ::Of course, instinct and practicality drove them to continue their march o= nward- the corridor was still a painfully public space. But even as the som= e of the doubt returned to Shayne, some of the apprehension took its famili= ar place in his chest, the slight decompression of MacKenna's shoul= ders made it all infinitely worthwhile.:: ::The silence was electric and tranquil- peaceful in its comfort and livid = in its excitement. The anticipation was there, of course, the ambiguousness= hovered, but it seemed like, whatever happened, the outcomes could only be= good.:: MacKenna: Thank you. ::Her words! To him! With no one around! And most importantly, he'd= been right! She did want to escape! Dear god! Shayne could've diss= olved into tears right there, but he was slightly stronger than that. So he= simply inclined his head in a slow, kind display.:: Shayne: You are most welcome. ::Shayne had often heard the platitude, =E2=80=9Cbe the change you wish to = see in the world=E2=80=9D. Well, he certainly wished that someone would hav= e extracted him from social situations early in his career. Perhaps, for on= ce, he was living up to that ideal.:: ::They kept walking, the shared silence of two beings that didn't r= equire speech to speak to one another. Shayne had not particular route in m= ind- his gambit had been played. But MacKenna didn't seem to partic= ularly mind. As the wandered in the low lighting of the starbase, Shayne re= alized he wouldn't mind doing this for a month at a time.:: ::Finally, with an uncertain but smooth movement, MacKenna pushed back her = mane of glorious crimson hair. Her pale face shined through, and for the fi= rst time he could get an unhindered look at the woman he'd saved fr= om the torture of socializing. His breath stopped in his throat.:: MacKenna: I uhwell. What can I help you with? ::He stepped in slightly closer, making sure to keep a respectful distance.= Shayne wanted her to feel protected and soothed, not threatened. And if he= 'd seen anything about her, it was how threatened she felt in the p= resence of another. He'd rather chew off his own arm than make her = uncomfortable in any way.:: Shayne: You already have. ::He realized how true it was. Though he had learned, through struggle and = error, how to survive such events, the fact was that didn't enjoy t= hem any more than MacKenna. She'd aided in his retreat, whether she= realized it or not.:: Shayne: But. Um. There's a there's a power fluctua= tion in ::He stopped. It appeared that his fumbling was not gone, simply postponed.= And now it reared its head when he could least afford it.:: ::With a sigh, he surrendered.:: Shayne: Would- would you like a drink? I mean, not back in there. Somewhere= quieter? MacKenna: ::smiling again.:: Sure. That would be great. ::But they didn't move from that spot. Their eyes locked. Shayne=E2= =80=99s surroundings fell away, lost to the vacuum that left him and her im= movable and intact. He was so tired. So utterly exhausted. How had he stood= before? She kept him awake, alert, the expression of care and vulnerabilit= y on her face giving him every ounce of strength he had left.:: ::She reached out to him, a gesture of intimacy Shayne would not normally p= ermit or expect. He hated getting close to people. How was this happening? = And yet, it felt right. It felt necessary. Designed. And he was too tired t= o fight against the will of the universe.:: MacKenna: Is everything alright? ::Even now, she cared. She felt. She worried. He wasn't floating, b= ut this came close.:: Shayne: Yes. ::His instinct was to lie, to protect, and to distance himself. It was what= he was good at. But his diversion failed before it began. He knew the lie = would not hold up to scrutiny. And besides, even if it did, Shayne knew tha= t, wherever this relationship led and whatever it became, he did not want i= t based on lies. As painful as it was, he backpedaled.:: Shayne: It is improving. Slowly. I turned down the first = officer position a few days ago. I think I think that may have bee= n a mistake. ::Or perhaps the right thing had been done for the wrong reasons.:: ::And how did this suddenly become about him? And how did he simply reveal = a huge fact like that to someone he'd just met? Was that even permi= tted?:: MacKenna: ? TAG/TBC Lieutenant Commander Randal Shayne Ops Officer/Second Officer USS Blackwell NCC 58999 G239202RS0 -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "= UFOP: StarBase 118 =E2=80=93=C2=A0Andaris Task Force" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an e= mail to sb118-andaris+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to sb118-andaris@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at https://groups.google.com/group/sb118-andaris. To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/= sb118-andaris/664779647.817316.1536822671533%40connect.xfinity.com. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.